How parents can raise mentally strong children

As May is now over, there is a question that I would want answered. Are we now more aware and educated enough about our mental health well-being, considering that we have had a whole month dedicated to giving the condition our attention and mindfulness?

While the one-month campaign of spreading sensitisation and knowledge around this crisis is a good campaign, it is not enough if it is not continuous and consistent.

The conversation around mental health, well-being and awareness is a huge one and, as such, demands a willingness of involvement from every member of our society, especially parents who are bringing up their little ones.

We lose time and end up being late when we start introducing topics of mental stamina and capacity to our grown-up children. At this stage, their mental bandwidth has developed, and it could be influenced in some ways but would certainly demand a lot.

Most of the challenges we shall continue to face, as a country, on the mental health crisis are centered around parents who will release their youths to the world, very well educated but poorly mentored mentally. Their mental strength is inadequate; anything out of the ordinary is considered a reason to quit. We call them the microwave generation, who say their coffee is instant: anything too complex is a no for them. A challenge such as a dismal performance in one discipline is reason enough to contemplate suicide.

Life is made of ups and downs; everyone will go through this once in a while. We must therefore ensure there is an inbuilt mechanism of courage, hope, strength, and resilience in the children we raise to help them combat the various ebbs and flows of life.

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How can we raise mentally strong kids? Sometimes, mentally strong kids come from mentally strong parents. Therefore, there is a need for parents to preach what they teach. It beats logic to expect your children to behave in a way they have not seen you behave. They become what we model.

Parents could also adopt the method of not solving all their children’s problems by allowing them to go through the process of figuring things out. This process might make the kids feel uncomfortable, especially because they will come across challenges, but it is in facing them that they learn strength and confidence. This is not a punishment but a way of shaping stamina in them. Support is good, but let them find a way.

You cannot always chase the school bus because they keep forgetting their homework; let them learn that they are responsible for it. If you do too much for them, you will be robbing them of their self-responsibility.

It is also useful to learn to praise efforts rather than just outcomes, such as saying "I’m proud of how hard you tried" instead of only celebrating an A score. This helps children develop a sense of worth tied to resilience, not perfection.

Consequently, engaging them in activities they enjoy—whether it's art, sports, or puzzles—allows them to build confidence through mastery and discover their strengths. Listening actively to their thoughts and feelings without judgment reinforces their value as individuals, while setting achievable goals teaches them they’re capable of progress. After all, mentally strong kids live by clearly defined goals.

Above all, modeling self-respect and positivity as adults creates a nurturing environment where a child learns to see themselves as competent, loved, and worthy of taking on life’s challenges.

-Ms Muthoni is an administrative assistant