Pastor Thomas Mutete's 25-year spiritual and intellectual journey of building love

After travelling the world for 25 years in search of what makes families thrive, Pastor Thomas Mutete distills his insights in Terms of Endearment, a book that invites readers to rebuild love, trust, and connection in modern relationships.

Even on a sombre evening when Kenya mourned the passing of former Prime Minister Raila Amolo Odinga, the ballroom at Nairobi’s 680 Hotel was filled with hope, laughter, and gospel music.

Guests arrived for the much-anticipated launch of Terms of Endearment – Building Love, Trust and Strong Families, a new book by family empowerment advocate Pastor Thomas Mutete.

The dinner-style launch, organised under the Family Empowerment Summit, became a tapestry of colour and emotion.

The atmosphere brimmed with expectancy as emcee Apostle Martin Ssuna peppered the evening with humour and warm jokes, while gospel artist Tsitsi Kudita from South Africa lifted hearts with soulful praise tunes.

Guests were treated to a complimentary dinner — a gesture Mutete described as “a token of gratitude for showing up on a day when the nation’s heart was heavy.”

Among those in attendance were Director Neba Twahima of Rad-Intervex, motivational speakers, clergy, and family mentors drawn from across East Africa.

Their laughter and applause punctuated an event that turned grief into gratitude, proving that even in difficult moments, love and faith remain the strongest anchors.

“It is not the longevity of life that matters,” Mutete told the attentive audience, “but the things that you do, and the legacy you leave.”

For Mutete, Terms of Endearment is the culmination of a 25-year spiritual and intellectual journey.

A teacher, mentor, and pastor, he has travelled across three continents, 15 countries, and 150 cities to gather insights on the human heart.

The spark for the book came during a mission trip to Maseru, Lesotho, on Valentine’s Day 2006 — a night that changed his life.

Stranded at the Bloemfontein border town after missing transport, he discovered that every hotel was fully booked by lovers celebrating the day.

Alone and reflective, he began to think about what love means, who it touches, and who it forgets.

“That night,” he recalled, “I realised that while some were celebrating love, others were losing it. I asked myself, what are we doing about this? It took me 27 years to find the answer — this book.”

Terms of Endearment is built around the powerful acronym E.N.D.E.A.R.M.E.N.T — Empathy, Nurture, Demonstration, Emotions, Acceptance, Relatableness, Maturity, Endurance, Nobility, and Trust.

Each letter carries a story, an emotion, or a principle that Mutete has lived and taught. The book, he insists, is neither a thesis nor a relationship manual but “a heartfelt conversation about love and the values that keep the family together.”

“My wife has been my greatest supporter,” Mutete said, smiling. “She even allowed me to use our own story in the opening chapter — Before You Judge, Walk a Mile in Their Shoes.”

The book’s 45 chapters are divided into ten thematic sections, each one a window into how people relate, forgive, communicate, and rebuild broken trust.

Some stories are drawn from Mutete’s own experiences, others from the lives of those he has mentored. All, he says, are true — only names changed to protect privacy.

The author, a Ugandan family counsellor and teacher who has served in pastoral work for more than two decades, says the book reflects lessons learned from “love, counselling, money, sex, communication, failing, and triumph.”

At the launch, speakers praised the book’s authenticity and timing. “It is refreshing to see African authors tackling universal issues of love and family from a contextual lens,” said Director Twahima. Others lauded Mutete’s courage in addressing topics often avoided in African homes — infidelity, emotional neglect, forgiveness, and rediscovering intimacy.

The evening was also a celebration of Nairobi’s growing role as a literary hub in East Africa. Coming hot on the heels of the launch of Echoes from the Mountain of the Moon by Dr Lilly Ajarova, the event reaffirmed the city’s reputation as a cradle of creative and intellectual expression.

Mutete’s ordination as a pastor last year marked a turning point in his calling. Inspired by Hollywood actor Denzel Washington, who once said he wanted to “become a man of God,” Mutete saw it as a divine cue to fulfil his long-nurtured purpose.

“You cannot be ordinary to discover the extraordinary,” he told the gathering. “Discovery is when you find that which no one else has found.”
The book, published under the Family Empowerment Summit imprint, is now available through local distributors. Mutete hopes it will open honest conversations in homes, churches, and schools about rebuilding love, trust, and emotional connection — the very foundations that keep families strong.

As the event drew to a close with worship songs and laughter, guests queued for autographs, clutching copies of Terms of Endearment close to their hearts. Many lingered for photographs with the author and his wife, their smiles reflecting the theme of the night — that love, in its purest form, remains the heartbeat of humanity.

“My prayer,” Mutete concluded, “is that every reader finds in these pages a reason to love better, forgive faster, and build bridges where walls once stood.”